Life-Awakening
I love this phrase. What could be better than to grow in our awareness of life?
Life-awakening events can be acute or chronic.
Maybe what you are experiencing is acute: a loss, a diagnosis, a big change, a break-up... You feel like you can't handle the simplest things. Nothing is the same as it used to be. And though the people around you mean well they really don't understand. Whatever your go-to coping mechanism is - food, wine, cannabis.... your usage has spiked. You might have panic attacks or have to cancel engagements because "you just can't". All of your energy is directed towards coping.
Or perhaps your life-awakening is chronic. A dynamic you have been living with for some time. A work or personal relationship, a health issue, financial pressure. And the situation is gradually escalating. You are not yourself. You worry. You are up in the night trying to solve the problem. You have lost your zest - you are never at your best anymore. You don't enjoy the things you used to enjoy.
Wether acute or chronic the juicy you - the fun you - the you that everyone loves - that you love - that person is not around often anymore. You are worried, triggered, paralyzed, numbing out... what is happening is impacting all areas of your life.
You are in a life-awakening phase. It's exciting actually. I know that's strange to hear. I get really animated when I am talking with someone and it becomes clear that they are in a life-awakening phases. I have to watch myself sometimes!
Our impulse is usually to want to make this thing go away.
So we go for symptom relief.
We go to the doctor to deal with our symptoms.
We see the massage therapist.
And they all help to a point.
But we're patching a leaking boat.
We're trying to feel better with an hour's appointment or a pill when the truth is our soul is screaming.
The truth is this pain is precious information full of love and calling us forward into so much more.
And if we let ourselves think about this we are terrified. Terrified to be alone. To lose the relationships and the identity and the apparent security we have taken decades to build.
And yet that terror is full of potential. It says "you are so much more than you know."
You built your life on one foundation and that foundation is crumbling. Pleasing, looking good, being successful - that isn't satisfying you and you know it. How do you step forward? What do you do?
Do you take yourself seriously or do you minimize your experience and try to push it away?
Do you make use of what is happening and create from it or do you descend into bitterness, self-blame, ill-health, lethargy and regret?
These are the choices we have. Every day. It never ends. We are continually called into more. We are continually called into relationship with life.
What is being presented to you is your opportunity. It's your opportunity to grow. To become more than you thought you were. It's terrifying because we don't know - are we going to be alone? Are we going to be bankrupt? Is anyone going to like us anymore?
These are the thoughts and fears. The realities are:
More time for what matters
Starting lucrative businesses aligned with our values
Promotions to levels we previously did not allow ourselves to dream of
Strong impact in our organizations
Developing our creative talents
Love relationships renewed and newly found
Joy
New experiences - travel, exploration, the world is open to us
Physical energy
Deep sleep
The best sex of our lives
Whatever we want
Peace
Beauty
This list is what is actually on the other side of what feels like crisis.
I see it every day.
Fear has a whole lot to say and it's trying to protect us so thank you for that but to actually go through the fire and transform - that is always worth the work. Always. Because life is worth living.
And the work of transformation is the work of listening to what life is saying to you - through your body and your heart and through everything you encounter. Listening deeply, feeling it and responding from the depth of you.
And that will always result in more life. It can't be otherwise.
Fear is like the zombie at the bottom of the swamp pulling up its slimy hands and trying to get us as we jump from lily pad to lili pad. It will shape shift and grab and pull - its creativity is itself something to behold.....
And this is the shift. To watch the fear. The sadness. The loneliness. The stuck-ness. To watch it and not believe it. "Thank you for sharing" I like to say.
As we grow larger than the things that hold us back we grow in our sense of possibility and worth and we grow in our ability to hold and receive what is new.
I have come to understand that this is my essential purpose. I have lived shock after shock and loss after loss and I have made the shift from fighting to creating. I have learned to work with life. To work with whatever is arising - emotionally, physically... each sensation holds power. It holds life. I hold that life force energy for myself and for my clients - it defers to no one.
Whatever the thing that is creating pain or isn't working - it is an invitation to more growth. It's uncomfortable because it's highlighting potential.
I don't say this glibly. On the other side of some diseases is death. Life is a cycle composed of cycles. What I am pointing to is a relationship with death and rebirth that is whole-being - that moves with life and thus is beauty itself. We still grieve. We still have challenges. The shift is in our relationship to what comes our way. This shift is physical and emotional and spiritual and mental. It is another way of living. One that is generative rather than combative.
We want our pain to let us rest. We want to explain away what we are experiencing. To fit ourselves back into the box "because really - our lives are great." What do we have to complain about?
But the soul isn' t having it.
The soul is not complaining.
It is growing.