The Importance Of Sexuality
Written post below…
My recent Ayahuasca ceremonies prompted me to think and write more deeply about sexuality. Here is the result.
Spirituality without sexuality is dangerous. Ideas of oneness, love and light that do not include the human body relegate sex to the shadows where harm is done.
Sexuality without spirituality is dangerous. Reverence, care, and connection create spaces safe for pleasure.
Sexuality without the strong feminine voice is dangerous. Masculine and feminine energy come together to create what is new. Feminine energy (in all humans) and the female gender must be protected for sexuality to be generative and enjoyable.
Disconnection from sexuality is dangerous. As we create lives that ignore sexuality or repress it we give it room to roam the shadows in harmful ways. What we fear and avoid we cannot confront.
Living disconnected from sexuality does not serve life. We become shells of ourselves in a way that has become normalized but is not alive.
Sex….
Gets us in our bodies
Opens our hearts
Clears our minds
Connects us to creation
It’s the most powerful energy there is. It got us here. It is the bridge between not here and here.
We tend to think of genital orgasm with another person as sex. But sex is so much more than that.
Orgasm is everywhere. It is the drive towards satisfaction, peak, and release.
It is the wave - of sound, light, electricity. It is each breath. It is photosynthesis and every chemical reaction.
Orgasm is everywhere in fractal relationship from the atomic to the cosmic.
Genital orgasm is one very strong expression of the orgasmic nature of life.
To live connected to sexuality is to recognize this wave nature of life. Connection to sexuality is a letting go into our true nature.
It is a letting go of concept, control, tightness, anxiety, collapse - basically a letting go of all forms of trauma.
Trauma is disconnection from our experience in the moment. What is happening is too much for our nervous system and we cannot remain presence.
Orgasm, on the other hand, is our experience in the moment.
Becoming more sexual is a process of letting go into the present moment.
As we let go we see what is here and we know what we have to do in the world.
What we have to do can take a million forms. Care-giving. Pleasure. Presence. Inquiry. Creation.
The call is to prioritize making love to the world.
Making love is this:
Relaxation
Paying attention
Enjoying
Presence
Receiving
Attuned giving
Surprise
Exploration
Play
Orgasm
Sharing
Each of these qualities enhances not only the bedroom but the world.
For most of us genital orgasm and sexual touch are important. They are powerful ways to build our life force energy. We enjoy them deeply. And they exist on the continuum of the orgasmic nature of life from the breeze on our face to full body orgasm. Genital sexuality can be an engine for our entire lives.
However, in a world where bodies are objectified, trauma is ubiquitous and deep sexual connection repressed the call to a healthy sexual life is a call to healing.
My desire to have a full sexual life has called me into:
Deeper and deeper layers of self-intimacy
Responsibility for myself
Healing codependent and enmeshment patterns
Healing of trauma and attachment anxiety
The ability to speak my needs, boundaries and desires clearly
Step into higher and higher levels of self worth
Healing of body self-image
Stepping into vulnerability
Tolerating the order/disorder paradox created by stepping into power
Deeper levels of vulnerability and courage in my public voice
This is far beyond the call to have a relationship as culturally defined.
And while we are all on different paths and our aliveness will take different forms, in general as a species our life force energy is much lower than it could be.
Answer these questions from your heart.
What would your life look like if you were sexually free?
What do you most desire?
What does satisfaction mean to you?
What enlivens your body?
What are you creating? What do you want to create?
What do you long for?
What does it look like for you to let go into the orgasmic nature of life?
Allow yourself to answer without judgement or censorship. Don’t try to figure anything out. Allow yourself intimacy with your self.
Aliveness is about experiences not external forms. It is about our inner stance of presence and flow. It isn’t about changing jobs or relationships though these things do sometimes change as we engage in this exploration. It is about cultivating the inner stance that allows us to live from the heart of aliveness inside of us.
When you are deeply connected to yourself you serve life. The creative solutions that get worked out are beyond what you could imagine or orchestrate by thinking about it.
Life always serves life.
From here we can witness others, love them, and contribute to the shaping of a new kind of world. One that is an expression of life herself.