Self Care Overwhelm
"I have a self care routine that takes two hours. It's a bit much"
In this Expand pod three type A women are discussing self care. They have each been committing deeply to themselves.
One woman said, "There are so many things 'to do': Journalling, meditation, breathing, stretching, going for a walk, visualization....
And then when I don't do 'all the things' I feel guilty."
I feel like I'm not doing enough. Not taking advantage of this opportunity."
She summed up the double bind perfectly. When motivated people turn their motivation and attention on themselves and inner work the double bind appears.
There are so many "things to do" that can it feel like 'never enough' which only confirms the pattern of overwhelm and disconnection from self rather than support the connection to self that is our intention with these practices in the first place!
On the other hand, the group agreed, crossing things off the list is so satisfying!!
And we talked about examples of people in our lives who commit significantly to inner work - daily routines that take a significant portion of their day - to meet the world with their full energy. We talked about the value of this personal work.
It's a paradox of sorts - we see the value of leaning into the inner work and also the danger of making it a stick we can punish ourselves with (repeating the patterns we are seeking to shift and heal).
Together we talked about a middle way. What if we enjoyed the list checking when we are in flow.... checking things off, doing, reveling in that satisfaction... And then when the list isn't lighting us up and we aren't focused and we feel like resting - we release the need to "do" entirely and allow ourselves to rest?
We can have both if we can give ourselves the permission to flow through different states.
This is what it is all about - releasing our expectations of the present moment and living the truth of each moment all out.
Practices support this release and presence to the extent that they help us relax and ground. But it's not about the practices. It's about you, right now - how you feel and how you exist in relationship to your life.
How do we cultivate this inner flexibility?
Supporting our physical health, strength and sleep that allows us to act from a nourished and relaxed place.
Awareness practices that help us identify with who we are in relationship to our thoughts and not defined by them.
Support from community - the resonance of like minded others supports us in releasing long standing conditioning about pushing hard and "being good".
This work is exactly what I support my clients to do in Expand. I invite you to join us. Expand is a three month alchemical program to transform your current experience into a new chapter in your life.
In Expand you will engage in deep mental, emotional and somatic work in a structured process so that you can fully step into your life in every way you desire. You will also have the opportunity to experience one full microdosing cycle combined with the inner work if you choose.
Expand includes three weekly calls (two recorded so you have the option to attend when it is best for your rhythm and schedule, one live), ongoing community and a structured curriculum delivered via an app that walks you through your inner journey. Read more and apply here. The application is to ensure Expand is a right fit for you right now - upon receiving your application I contact you to set up a call to answer your questions.